Out of Routine

Do you ever those weeks, days or months or maybe a life that is totally chaotic? Have you noticed what happens to you when you get out of routine? I personally become quite grumpy, especially when I have no time to think or I don't have some 'me' time.  I know that 'me' time is beneficial for us and even a routine has certain benefits but I've reminded myself recently, that although I was a reluctant at first, it was good for me to get out of routine.

The first event was when I had to rush to Hong Kong to run our 2 day 'PowerPresenting' programme with a group of investment bankers.  You may be thinking, what's the problem with that? There's no problem at all. I love presenting training and I love Hong Kong, but the workshop was confirmed with two day's notice and my week was already sorted. So my perfectly planned week became total chaos to fit in a four day trip to Hong Kong. Regardless, I turned around everything at last minute and really enjoyed being out of my routine.

The second event that quickly snapped me out of my routine was my return to Bali when I had visitors from all directions and different circles arriving before me because of the knock-on effect of flying back from Hong Kong.  As soon as I hit the ground in Bali I went straight into a late dinner catching up with friends, followed by running back to the airport the next day to pick up friends and some more friends arriving later in the week, followed by some more friends coming to dinner early in the following week. My children were on school holidays and their friends were visiting Bali too, so we were stretched in all directions and my routine turned into complete chaos. I have to admit that I did have my grumpy moments when innocent friends thought they could see and do so many activities in one day that ranged from riding on elephants and surfing all before 3pm when they had massages booked at their villa!  The activities were at least two hours away from each other and with Bali 'rubber time', it's an achievement to do one activity per day. In the end, we had a fun day at the waterpark as the tide was too high for surfing and nobody fancied the long ride to see the elephants. Among all the chaos, I had food poisoning for one day and retreated to the darkness and solitude of my bedroom. Although not the most welcome way to have 'me' time, my friends were happy to take my 3 girls out for the day and I could recover on my own, so it worked out well.

The third event was at the gym when I was persuaded by a friendly Australian, called Jody (for months I only knew her as the happy, smiling Australian when we bumped into each other at the treadmill) to attend a gym class.  This would take me totally out of my routine as I usually like to get to the gym at 7.30pm so I can start working at 9am.  The gym class started at 9am! But the class sounded so much fun, I decided that I could be flexible with my work schedule. Run by an exceedingly charming, camp and extremely fit, bronzed, Balinese instructor whose biceps bulged as though they were going to burst, the class was packed with keen, toned, fit looking young women. I promptly hid at the back, behind a lady who had some extra 'padding' like me (she re-assuringly told me that my arms and legs were ok, but I had a big tummy like her), only to frequently find myself at the front leading the class when he told us to turn around!

Looking like an uncoordinated rag doll, I found myself doing the opposite of what the rest of the class were doing, while I tried to reverse in my head what the instructor was showing us and desperately trying to catch up with the rest of the group.  My puzzled facial expressions must have said it all, as my caring instructor observed my plight and kept on pointing at me, screeching above the loud, booming music in his high pitched Indonesian voice, "It's ok. Have fun." I did indeed have fun and felt a wonderful rush of endorphins by doing something out of routine. I have never laughed, panted and sweated all at the same time so much before. The extra bonus for me, was that after what felt like months on the treadmill (ok nearly two months with breaks in between) and failing to shift any weight, I ended up aching in places that I didn't know I could ache. We had so much gyrated our hips and stuck out our buttocks that it was painful to sit down afterwards and we had stretched our upper torsos in so many directions, I knew that my waist still had muscles in it somewhere.  Psychologically I felt like my body had already been toned in the places where I would like most impact and this was all because I was persuaded to do something out of my routine.

Thank you to all those events and people who get us out of our routine.

The following two quotes are great examples why chaos and getting out of routine can be good for us:-

"Chaos breeds life, while order breeds habits." 
Henry Adams

And

"As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of living, new dimensions of the soul will not emerge." 

Henry Van Dyke

Enjoy life and the new dimensions of the soul!

Janet

A Perilous Journey with a Rich Reward

How many of us get out of our comfort zone and do something with risk attached to it?  Some of us may be forced out of our comfort zone and have to do something that may seem perilous to us.  Some of us may want to do something out of our comfort zone, but may be reluctant to take the step and others may just go for it.



On this particular occasion, our perilous journey started out as soon as we hit the chaotic roads in Bali in our faithful, old jeep. My family and I were going away for the weekend to celebrate my birthday and were heading to a villa at a boutique hotel along the West Coast. Although only an hour from our home, the journey seemed to last forever as we dodged the motorbikes, inhaled the toxic, black fumes from all the hot and dirty traffic and raced with the impatient little trucks and cars, as they beeped to show they wanted to overtake even if they didn't have the engine power to do so.

The stream of traffic driving to and from Java was an incredible sight as lorries that had emptied their loads in Bali made their way north and nearly toppling lorries, stacked high and well above what would be acceptable in developed countries made their way south. One big, old lorry had overturned on a bend, its concrete slab contents strewn across part of the road. All it had to warn oncoming traffic was a little green leafed branch sticking out at the end of it (Bali's equivalent of a warning triangle).

I have now got used to these 'accident warnings' and although they make me chuckle, I admire Bali's eco-friendly and simple way of politely informing us of a breakdown or a danger such as a fallen away road.  I'd love to see a policeman's reaction if I did this in my home country, the UK! Unfortunately I wasn't quick enough to take a photo - we did, however, bet on the likelihood that it would still be there on our return and it was (my camera had run out of battery at this stage, so another missed opportunity to take a photo)!

Thankfully we reached our destination in one piece. The hotel had a private beach which we had all to ourselves. In the hotel brochure, my husband had seen a cave in a sea cliff and decided that we should take a gentle stroll to find this cave before dinner. Our daughters would have nothing to do with our suggested walk and sent my husband and I off on our own.





What started out as a gentle stroll, turned out to be a mass expedition, scaling the treacherous and slippery rocks overlooking the sea. As I dutifully followed my husband who kept on re-assuring me that it would be easier on the way back because we'd be climbing up the rocks rather than down, I couldn't help wonder to myself whether this was a responsible thing to do with 3 daughters who had total trust that we would return. This, plus the fact that I was now officially in my mid 40s, who happened to have a handbag slung over my shoulders which kept on getting tangled up in my legs and I had to hitch my dress up to minier than mini level, didn't make me feel best equipped person to tackle this sort of risk.

To add to my perilous dilemma, the West coast is known for its high, professional surfer waves, the tide was coming in, night time was falling and there wasn't a single surfer in sight, only a little fishing boat bobbed up and down, in and out of sight on the wild waves. It was strange to see a fishing boat at this time of the day, maybe we provided some entertainment to the local fishermen.



As I froze still standing on a rock face, with a bitter, sweet feeling of fear and amazement as the huge waves crashed against the black rocks, my husband wandered further along the rocks and disappeared out of my sight.  I was alone on this eerie, but at the same time surreal rock not knowing whether to advance or retreat.  My husband whistled loudly and I ventured to look around the rock. He beckoned me to follow him and so I did, not knowing whether I would be rewarded or punished by what was ahead of me.


Although the journey seemed perilous at times, the reward at the end was well worth stepping out of the unknown and taking a few risks. I couldn't believe the feast for my eyes, as I saw what must have been hundreds of bats hanging upside down like jewels in a cave. It was a spectacular sight, melodious sound and breathtaking moment that was a perfect reward for having done something out of my comfort zone.

The next day we took the perilous route again to show our children the bats and it seemed less perilous this time and makes a good acronym in life where we take risks and it gets easier when we've already done it. I even managed to capture the moment on video:-

If ever you have to take risks, there'll be rewards. No matter how scary it may seem to you at the time, you'll make new discoveries, be more knowledgeable and come out stronger. I couldn't resist using an ocean quote I like for this blog:-

"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore."
Andre Gide

The following quote is a good one too:-

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful that the risk it took to blossom"
Anais Nin

Enjoy the personal rewards that come with taking risks.


Janet

By the way, the hotel we stayed at was the Gajah Mina Beach Resort www.gajahminaresort.com
Tip:- Don't be too specific about your check out time - we said we would leave around 11.30am and a whole entourage of staff stood outside our villa waiting to clean our villa at 11.25am - felt pressurised to finish packing quickly!

Never Too Old Nor Too Late

Do you ever think to yourself that something or other is past it, or can't be done? Maybe, after all, it's getting too old and/ or it's too late.  Depending on what age we are, or where we are in our life, we may have these thoughts about ourselves.  There are two life lessons that I have experienced over the last couple of weeks that have helped me dispel this myth.

The first was our sick 45 year old jeep (Actually my husband calls it a 'go anywhere' Toyota Land Cruiser FJ40, but it's easier just to call it a jeep).  It was in a sorry state. As soon as she started up, she had problems keeping on running - a feeling I know well. I was starting to wonder whether it was worth having an old vehicle and was it too late for her to perform better - I know this feeling too. My husband tried some perfunctory fixing under the bonnet and with blackened, oily hands broke the news that we, as in the both of us, had to somehow get it to a garage.  The challenge was how to do this when the jeep needed to be kept at high revs, otherwise it cut out and refused to move again. It was a double challenge to do this and keep the jeep going, while tackling the heavily congested Bali roads,  which is like diving into a rugby scrum of vehicles and hoping to survive without any scrapes or breakages at the end of it.


We agreed (I somewhat reluctantly - knowing the likelihood of breaking down) that my husband would drive the jeep and I would follow in my car with a set of jump leads, should the inevitable happen.  We had a promising start.  The two roads leading from our home in Bali are quiet, rice field lined lanes, so my husband could let the jeep rip through the countryside at high revs and without stopping. The problems started when we had to cross onto a main road that looked as though we had just hit rush hour, even though it was only 10 o'clock on a Sunday morning.  

My husband had to stop before crossing the junction, otherwise he would have caused carnage. I could hear the roaring of the jeep's engine as he tried, in vein, to keep the revs high, while slowing down at the same time, but after a burst of energy and desperately wanting to keep on going, it spluttered and died.


Now what? I drove behind the jeep, so both our vehicles were obstructing the entrance to the road.  A group of young to middle aged Balinese men were perched in their little bamboo hut, doing their usual 'watching the world go by' and I could feel their eyes diverting to us. 

They were obviously asking the same question and curiously wondering what this expatriate couple would do next. We pretended to look as though we knew what we were doing, lined up the two vehicles and attached the jump leads.  


The jeep started up, my husband wedged his shoe on the accelerator while he detached the jump leads and we were ready to attempt crossing the junction again. I wanted to turn around and find some other way to fix the jeep.  My husband had made up his mind that we were going to complete this mission. Fortunately for us and by some miracle act, we made it across the junction and in one piece. By taking a deep breath and momentarily closing my eyes to traffic approaching me in both directions, I managed to dart across the junction as if my car were attached to the jeep.


Luckily, the road to the garage was straight ahead and after quite a scary, fast and furious ride, revving up behind and overtaking the dawdling motorbikes, cars and chugging lorries, we made it and the mechanics were more than happy to fix our jeep. When we picked her up the next day, she had been fixed and cleaned - she was positively gleaming in the garage.  My husband drove her out and she was as good as new. 


Since then we've been driving along dirt tracks and over bumpy fields down to various beaches and all the time she's roared as confidently and proud as a lion.

The second life lesson happened to be my experience at the gym.  After a two month relapse of not doing anything to keep fit, I reluctantly knew that I had to get back on the treadmill.  My first week back was poor.  It felt like heavy lead weights had been attached to my body and not even the song 'La Bamba' motivated me. 


My friend Alison re-assured me that it would come back very quickly if I took it a step at a time. These words of wisdom kept me going and by the end of the second week I made a turnaround when the old song 'One Way Ticket' by Eruption started booming out of my headphones and quickened the step in my stride.  

There was only one way I was going and that was forwards. The next song 'Coming Back to You' by Bryan Adams made me feel like my body was coming back to me and by the time Iggy Pop's 'Lust for Life' started playing, I broke out into a run for the whole song! Yes, I know my music collection is dated, but these old songs must somehow take me back to my youth and sometimes do wonders for my energy levels at the gym.  (By the way, those are not my fit looking legs on the picture).


I did have to quickly change the tune when Chris Rea's 'Road to Hell' started playing and the good news is that we can actually make these kind of changes.  If something is telling us one thing - whether it is self talk or somebody else and we don't want to hear it or we start to wrongly believe in it - we can change the tune to a better, more productive one. 


What have these little life lessons taught me? As C.S. Lewis wisely said:-


"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."



And an equally powerful quote from George Elliot that I like is:-


"It is never too late to be who you might have been."


Enjoy being who you want to be and doing what you want to do.


Janet

An Act of Kindness

This week, Idul Fitri, the end of the holy month of Ramadan, was celebrated in Indonesia.  Our girls had only just returned to Green School after a two month summer break and a week after starting school, they took another two days off for the public holiday. I used to get frustrated by this sort of thing happening, especially as we are paying for the girls to go to school.  Since living in Bali, I have learned that these things happen and calmly accept it. In fact, I recently learned that every single temple and shrine in Bali (apparently there are more temples than homes and there are so many the government doesn't bother counting them, but a rough estimate is over a million) celebrates its own birthday every 210 days and this involves a special ceremony, so in the scheme of things it's a good job Bali doesn't have a public holiday every time there's a temple birthday! I have also learned that it is useful to not only accept these things happening that we rather not, it's good to think of a solution i.e. in this case, what to do with my three girls during this public holiday.

Luckily, the thinking was done for me when my husband announced that he would be in Bali for the whole week, so we could go somewhere over the mid-week public holiday. I suggested we go exploring in the jeep and stay in the nice looking, boutique hotel that we had seen at night with friends a couple of years ago, somewhere along the West coast.  I didn't know the name of the hotel and we found it in the dark at the time, but assumed we could somehow find it, 'rock up' and stay overnight. Not convinced by this loose plan, my husband decided he had to do some research to find where the place was and we could book in advance.  So I left it to him to it and on the morning when we were due to leave for our mini break, my husband started his research by using a map, the internet and our Rough Guide to Bali. To some people this may seem like leaving things to the last minute and it is to me too, however my husband did find a couple of hotels on the internet which were in the direction of where I liked the hotel with no name.  The first place was too expensive, the second place seemed more reasonable but all its rooms were booked.  I suggested that we revert back to my plan, drive the jeep up the West coast and intuitively find the hotel I liked and see if they had a room for the night.  So we followed this plan and although we didn't have an end outcome fixed, it felt like an adventure to not know.

En route to our vague destination, we decided to have lunch at a beach. As we approached the beach, we were stopped by a sign that was positioned in the middle of the road and two smiling Balinese men proudly stood next to it. The sign asked for a fee of 5,000 rupiah (about US 60 cents), which reassuringly said in bold letters was 'in retribution for objectionable tourist' for us using the road.  Rather than take offence we decided that the Balinese person who painted these words had probably lost something in translation in the Indonesian - English dictionary they had used. We chuckled at the sign, as the girls asked what it meant and we moved on having paid our 'retribution'. On our way back, we thought it would be a good idea to take a photo of the sign but it was no longer there.  Maybe the person who wrote the sign did mean 'retribution' for being non-local after all and they had put it out just for us?!

We continued our journey, my rear end having hardened like stone while being violently bounced up and down in our ancient jeep along the potholed and heavily traffic infested roads with the noise, dust and fumes enveloping us in a layer of grime. Rather than let this frustrate me, I calmly accepted that the feeling of being exposed to the outside world of chaos on the Balinese roads would always be the case when we go exploring in the jeep and it's all part of the excitement of the journey. And as part of the roller coaster ride we had a huge stroke of luck, where we instinctively turned into a narrow road that reminded us of where we got lost in the dark and it led us to 'Puri Dajuma', the nice hotel that I had in mind. This was the same hotel that told us they had no rooms available earlier that morning!

We hopefully asked if there was space available anyway and the response was 'no'.  We asked if it would be ok to stay for dinner and the response was 'yes'.  As it was only 4pm, it was too early to eat straight away, so the receptionist kindly offered us the use of their pool and phoned the housekeeper for towels.  Maybe he took pity on us after looking so dishevelled and disappointed, but this simple act of kindness meant a lot to us. It meant so much that we will definitely go back again and next time we'll book in advance. A small act of kindness goes a long way. Our girls had so much fun swimming in the pool, exploring the hotel grounds, climbing their trees, swinging in their hammocks and walking along beach. To round off our day, we had a lovely meal, watching the sunset. Even though we had no place to stay, it turned out to be a great break, thanks to the receptionist.

Can you remember a time when somebody showed you an act of kindness or even when you did this for somebody? I have a feeling that sometimes in this age of positive thinking and achieving your goals, simple old fashoned kindness can get a bit forgotten about.



"No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.  The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves"
Amelia Earhart

Similarly, here's an easy to remember quote which echoes the same sentiments:-

"Kindness like a boomerang, always returns." 
Author unknown

Enjoy giving and receiving more of those 'acts of kindness.'

Janet

Oh, and the hotel if you are interested is www.dajuma.com

Special Moments with Family and Friends

My 3 daughters and I have made it back to Bali after our 6 week annual 'girls tour' to the UK.  We had a terrific time renewing bonds with family and friends. It was a good feeling being able to pick up from where we left off and was well worth the effort of travelling a 14 hour flight to keep in touch.

When I first moved to Asia 11 years ago, I re-assured my Mum that even though she wouldn't see us often, when she did, we would have quality time together. For both lots of Grandparents, three weeks each of putting up with our belongings strewn around the house, no matter how much running around I did to clear up after ourselves (the biggest challenge for me was keeping up with flushing the toilet, particularly as my 6 year old seems to think that because the Green School has non flushable, environment friendly toilets that everywhere should be the same); mass food shopping and eating as though we're about to hit a food shortage; using the washing machine until it wears out the mixed colours cycle to breaking point; sabotaging the TV so that it only plays children's programmes in constant repetition and a mass siege of every computer in the house, can affect the quality side of things but both Mum and Dad and my in-laws continued to show remarkable skills of patience, resilience and tolerance to put us up and put up with us for a long stretch and all in one go. They took us to theme parks, the seaside, crab fishing along the sea front (kept the girls amused for hours), to shopping centres, out for lunch, dinner and picnics, cooked us wonderful food and dropped all their commitments to be there for us. While we created chaos and disruption like a tornado that comes and goes, special moments were created that last a life-time for all of us.

Being referred to as 'gypsies' by our friends' 12 year old son made me think to myself  'he's absolutely right' as we travelled the country looking for a place to stay, our bulging suitcases jam-packed tightly in a hire car, and causing a backlog of vehicles behind us due to our heavy load. We were fortunate to have friends and family welcome us warmly, regardless of us temporarily hijacking their homes. Our friends in London, Sharon and family, even let us extend our stay with them by offering their home for a weekend, while we fed their 3 black cats and they went on their first mini camping break in Southern England. Judging by their reports of being extremely uncomfortable and freezing cold at night, (Sharon's husband had his broken arm stiffly set in plaster cast at the time which is especially not recommended for first timers) and in spite of having a deluxe tent which they could stand in and had a fancy awning, they clearly got the worse deal. While cat and house sitting, we attended an emotional memorial service for a dear Mum and Grandmother of one of our closest ex-patriate friends, Kim. Sharon and her family knew the female vicar who was conducting the service (small world) and the vicar beamed at me as though she had known me for years when she realised who I was in response to her question 'are you local?' and I said that we had flown in from Bali. Although I had never met this lady before, we were instantly connected by having mutual good friends.

At the gathering after the funeral, we were welcomed with open arms by Kim's family and relatives, some of whom had travelled to London from overseas. Kim's Mum emigrated to London from Guyana, the north-east edge of South America in her twenties. As a result, we learned about Guyanese culture and thanks to Kim's relatives finding a Guyanese take-away in London, we experienced tasty Guyanese food, including curry, dumplings, pepperpot (beef stew), roti, cookup rice (similiar to the Caribbean rice rice and peas) and my favourites were the beef patties and pineapple tarts.  Over an extended family weekend, we joined their big family picnic at Dulwich Park in London, playing rounders and enjoying a beautiful British summer's day as the relatives, friends and children bonded together - a fond memory that will always be with us.

Our good friends in Thame, Oxfordshire, rolled out the red carpet for us as they let us take over a wing of their home and welcomed us with my friend Fiona's fabulous English cottage pie followed by a scrumptious apple pie made by their 14 year old daughter.  The next day they fired up the barbecue and we sat out in the cold, as we stoically didn't let the predictable, unpredictable British weather get in our way and we laughed our way through the afternoon while reminiscing and talking about our latest adventures. Further down south in Oxfordshire, near Goring-on-Thames, our long-standing and loyal friends whom we hadn't seen for 3 years, invited us to their impressively renovated home and my dear friend Kate made me feel extra special by treating me to her delicious cheesecake - I never used to be a fan of cheesecake until I tried Kate's cracking cheesecake many years ago when we lived together in London - the only drawback was that I now had to share this best ever cheesecake with all our children who asked for seconds and devoured it like a pack of hungry wolves.

In Wales we were lucky enough to visit my Welsh friend Alison, whom I got to know in Singapore. She now lives in Dubai, but happened to be spending her last night in her renovated house in Cardiff, so we popped into see her. Alison welcomed us with afternoon tea, cakes and sandwiches and even though we hadn't since each other for a few years, we quickly picked up on all our news and gossip. We also met up with my faithful, old school friends and their children and I gate-crashed on an entertaining girls' evening out with their cousins.  We shared fun moments catching up on the news, while our children swam in the river (my girls jumped in fully clothed) and apart from the odd shivering moment, they seemed oblivious to the cold. It was a much wiser decision to sit in my brother and sister-in-law's hot tub that they generously let us use and was quite an experience going from hot to cold as we left the hot tub and made a quick dash to change back into some warm clothes at their house.  My younger brother took time off work to be with us and walk his fun loving Alsataian dog in the woods, as well as picking lots of blackberries, which when we got into the swing of spotting ripe blackberries, became addictive. My 6 year old loved seeking out blackberries and judging by the purple stains on her clothes and face, she relished this fruit that was to be found hanging from briars among the hedgerows.

Make time and effort to be with your family and friends .  It's a wonderful way to deepen bonds and remember special moments. As Cesare Pavese puts it so well:-

"We do not remember days; we remember moments."

It's these moments that make a difference in our life and when we become close so that:-


"The best part of life is when your family becomes your friends, and your friends become your family."
---Danica Whitfield
 
Enjoy your time spent with family and friends.  Life is too short not to.

Janet