Let It Be

It's been a year since we moved our family home to Bali while running our personal and professional development business, NoLimits, from Singapore. Our company philosophy is about 'no limits', infact there's even a pop song called NoLimit (I discovered this through a good friend after I had named the company, remember this?: 2 Unlimited NoLimit youtube) and there are no limits if you put your mind to it and you really want it. In the space of one year we have expanded our business to recruitment and I have seen my life change considerably by living in Bali. Although hair raising and as painful as extracting teeth at times, it has been an amazing experience for us. There have been ups and downs, satifsaction and dissatisfaction, frustration, fun, laughter and happiness all rolled into one.

You may be saying to yourself so what is the title to this blog about?  Why 'let it be'? I've been wondering to myself, now that a year has passed, how I would describe the biggest life lesson from all of this and the first words that came to mind were 'let it be', so intuitively I have decided to go with this title. I happened to be swimming laps in the pool at our villa at the time (if you can call it laps, I have to turn every two minutes as it's more of a plunge pool than lap pool) and I was reflecting on what has been happening over the last few days since my return from holidays in the UK (strange as it may sound, as I live in Bali I have to go on holiday somewhere). One of the bigger frustrations is that I waited a year for our container with our personal belongings from Singapore to arrive to discover a bizarre combination of my favourite black leather jacket, all my cookbooks and a couple of lampshades went missing! As my Bali friend Sarah said there's most probably somebody in Asia who is now sporting a black leather jacket, wearing a lampshade and pretending to be Jamie Oliver! I'm not bothered about the cookbooks or lampshades but I am mourning the fact that my black leather jacket and I have finally parted after all these years together.  My black leather jacket and I go back twenty years ago when I was living in London. It has followed me around Asia for the last ten years. Admittedly I haven't worn it for the last ten years because it's too darn hot but it has always faithfully waited in my wardrobe for that 'one day' when the opportunity would finally present itself. Maybe as in life, what's the point of holding onto things for one day ....... wherever my leather jacket has landed up, I hope it is appreciated and getting some good use now.

So as I swam my short lengths in the pool, turning around every two minutes like one of the Queen's guards pacing Buckingham Palace, I realised that it's all about letting it be. Sometimes we have to let go no matter how close or dear something may be, or how intense or principled we feel. It's best to accept and move on, when nothing can be done about it. As a man in India once politely instructed me, shrugging his shoulders and holding out his arms - I was frustrated I couldn't book an auto-rickshaw on a public holiday (Independence Day) - "This day is to celebrate when we were freed from you," he exclaimed, pointing his finger at me as if I had to take the blame for all the misdemeanours of my colonial forefathers, "and besides this is India." he sighed, as if to say 'you can't expect anything else.'. So I now have 'this is Bali.'  For all it's frustrations and inefficiencies it has a charm and character that I can't help but admire and a calmness that pervades. In the space of one year I have moved from trying to change things, the frustrating things that don't work out the way I want, to a state of accepting, doing what I can to mitigate and moving on with a smile. Life's lessons in Bali have taught me to be more adaptable, patient and to know when to let it be. 

As the words to the Beatles song says:-

"There will be an answer, let it be."
Let it be - youtube

What can you do to let it be and move on?

Janet

For more information about NoLimits personal and professional development, coaching and recruitment services, contact info@nolimitsasia.com +65 6232 2466

Take the First Step

Take the First Step

I've finally arrived back to Bali after a circuitous return from the UK via Bangkok and Singapore. It's good to be back among all my stuff, but in some respects I'd love to run away from my beckoning responsibilities such as unpacking; getting my children back into the school routine; catching up on my long queue of emails which feels like a backlog of planes waiting at Heathrow airport; getting back into the flow of my work tasks and goals (as well as remembering them); scheduling and synchronising my diary with upcoming personal and professional development workshops, coaching sessions and meetings; getting into a healthy eating  routine (went totally out of the window in the UK, although I do believe it's good to eat cream sponges, tasty cottage pies and drink luxury hot chocolates to survive in a cooler climate); summoning up the stamina to exercise again (why is it so much easier to get out of the exercise routine rather than into it?!); and returning to sorting out / finding places for the container of belongings that arrived from Singapore just before I left for the UK (I didn't realise I had so much junk).

There are times in our lives when we would like to abscond from our responsibilities and things that we know we should be doing, but haven't got around to doing. All it requires is taking the first step and then it isn't as bad or as big a task as what we had imagined (apart from sorting out my container full of junk - much worse than what I had imagined). Taking this first step reminds me of the analogy of climbing a mountain. My 3 daughters, my brother and his German Shepherd dog recently climbed the Black Mountains in Wales. Admittedly these mountains are only 811 metres high, but it was quite an achievement to influence my 5 year old daughter, who complained bitterly all the way up, to reach the top, as well as my 10 year old daughter who wanted to know if we could take the elevator when we reached the half way point (she has spent far too much time in urbanised Singapore!). Sometimes there are no quick fixes or easy ways out, such as an elevator miraculously appearing when we were struggling. Once we had started climbing the mountain we were reluctant to turn back no matter what difficulties we encountered, such as my 5 year old daughter who stubbornly lay down like a lead weight in one of those 'you can't move me' positions and refused to carry on.

In life too, it's simply a matter of taking the first step. No matter how hard or tedious the journey may be, it's a wonderful feeling when you finally reach the top and you can look back and admire what you have achieved. Sometimes in life, as on the mountain, you have to go back down. Having reached the summit, you will find that you have all the more experience and know what's ahead of you to go back down. In some instances this is easier to achieve than climbing up to the top. When we descended the Black Mountains, we decided that the best way to get down was to slide on our bottoms. We acquired sheep droppings, purple wimberry and green grass stains en route, as well as being attacked by some gruesome, prickly thistles, but it was so much fun. My 5 year old daughter enjoyed herself so much, she wanted to climb back up the mountain again and quickly seemed to forget all the pain that she seemed to have endured on the way up! Having climbed the mountain once, will give us the confidence to do this again as we learn how to deal with and know what is ahead of us.

What can you do today to take the first step? As Martin Luther King, Junior, quoted:

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."

Take the first step in whatever it is you want to achieve or have outstanding and you'll be surprised how easily you can do it.

Janet

Take the first step by finding out further information from NoLimits about our personal and professional development and coaching services, please contact info@nolimitsasia.com

Seeing Some Blue in the Grey Skies

Seeing Some Blue in the Grey Skies

It's that time of year in the UK, when the British like to make their annual trip to the seaside. They live in hope that somehow, by the time they reach the beach, the sun will be shining, they'll be able to expose their bodies as if they were on a tropical beach and the sea will be as warm as a bath.

Last week I joined my two closest school friends and their cousin, along with all our children (8 girls in total) on a day at the seaside. We visited Borth, a little seaside town near Aberystwyth in Mid West Wales. My friends assured me that Borth had a beautiful, long, sandy beach where our children could go on a donkey ride. My only re-collection of being in this part of Wales was when I visited Aberystwyth University at 17 years old. I stood up in the lecture hall full of students and introduced myself as 'Janet from a school in Three Cocks.'  The roar of laughter among the students was deafening and it was one of those moments when I wished I could have been engulfed by the floor.

We drove in convoy over the mountain roads to Borth. It started to rain which wasn't the best of signs, but we were optimistic that the sun would be shining by the seaside. When we arrived, my friend jumped out of the car to see what the weather was like.

"Brr, it's bracing," my one friend commented as she hastily jumped back into the car. "I think it's too cold for the donkeys and the tide is in so there's no beach."

I couldn't believe that we had travelled for at least an hour and thirty minutes on roads that twisted like a snake, to discover no beach or donkeys! Finally, we plucked up the courage to take a walk around Borth. After two minutes, we quickly took cover from the cold in the bus stop.

"I normally like the seaside," my other friend commented, as we all huddled together to shield ourselves from the fierce wind.

The sky turned a darker shade of grey. The rain from the mountains had joined us. Searching for more shelter, we headed for the penny arcade where we managed to relieve ourselves of all our spare change. Having won nothing, we broke into our notes and bought coffees / hot chocolates in the local cafe.

By the time we had finished our hot drinks, it had stopped raining and we could see some blue in the grey sky. With typical British stoicism when planning a British picnic, we carried our sandwiches, picnic rugs, deckchairs, buckets and spades and dinghy down to the beach. After numerous take away cups of hot tea, sheltering among the rocks in an attempt to warm up and watching the children (who seemed to have no concept of being cold) swimming in the sea, the sky finally turned pure blue at six o'clock in the evening as if it had been like that all day. My friends mocked me as I boldly dipped my feet in the sea. It was worth sticking it out and looking for the blue in the sky, even though it took the whole day for the sun to shine and for me to go for a paddle.

In life too, it may seem like there's a lot of grey around, but as Helen Keller quoted:-

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us."



What can you do to focus on the 'blue', no matter how small it may appear at first? You'll be surprised how quickly the 'blue' spreads when you look out for it.

To find out more about NoLimits personal and professional development services, please click on the NoLimits link on this blog.

Janet

Bullish Behaviour

Bullish Behaviour

Do you ever get those moments when you think to yourself, 'perhaps I shouldn't have done that'? Or 'that was a bit risky', but life wouldn't be as exciting if I wouldn't have done it? Or even 'I wasn't expecting that', but if it wouldn't have happened, I would be none the wiser now. I believe that in these moments of reflection, there is always something to learn.

I had one of those moments today when I took my 3 girls and my brother's German Shepherd dog to the local playground where my parents live in Wales. After about 10 minutes of running around, enjoying ourselves and getting the dog to play fetch, my 11 year old said she was bored!  Oh my goodness, we were only half way through the girls' summer holidays and my eldest was already complaining that she was bored.

"I know let's take the dog for a walk across the fields, that will be exciting," I exclaimed. "We can walk across the Monkey Bridge and play in the river like I used to as a child."

My 9 year old and 5 year old seemed excited by this prospect. My 11 year old sulkily dragged herself along, looking as though this may have been marginally better than the playground.

We started off well. As we approached the narrow, wooden, single track bridge, my 5 year old eyes lit up.

"This is exciting Mummy," she confirmed, with the vibrancy of a child who was about to go on an amazing fair ride.

The dog and girls played in the river and had lots of fun.  Not content to stay in one place for too long, I encouraged my children to follow the public footpaths along the fields, so we could enjoy some of the Welsh countryside. We put the dog back on the lead, walked through a field with sheep. They were fortunately grazing at the top end (my brother's dog pulls like a cart horse and I knew that she and I would be up the top end of the field in no time at all if she felt like it). To my relief, the next field was clear of animals. We admired a herd of cows. They were on the other side of the river and noted how different they looked to the Bali cows, which look more like bambis compared to the thick set Welsh cows. As we continued to walk along the edge of the field, the cows in the other fields were on the move and heading in the direction of the river. Suddenly and much to my surprise these cows were not only able to cross the river, they entered the same field as us.

"Mummy why are all those cows coming into the same field as us?" my eldest asked.

"We'll be ok," I re-assured my daughters, "They're only female milking cows." The size of their udders and swaying stomachs looked big enough to feed the whole of Wales.

The girls wanted to know how I knew they were female cows. While thinking that schools should explain this and reluctantly giving a mini biology lesson, I noticed that the smaller cows didn't have udders and were bullocks! I was becoming a little more alarmed, especially when one big black cow started to walk in our direction and gave us an angry look that instantly reminded me of an old woman from my childhood days who had a scowl that would scare off a vampire. Perhaps she had come back to haunt me.

"Just stay still," I advised my girls. "At least there isn't a bull in the field." I cheerily noted.

It was one of those moments where I was outwardly pretending to be calm and was starting to panic underneath. The actor Michael Caine sums up this feeling well:

"Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath."


We waited patiently and considered going back in the direction we came from, but fortunately for us, the black cow lost interest and moved on up the field with the other cows. Finally, the long trail of at least 30 cows seemed to come to an end, when out from the river and the trees, sauntered the biggest, fattest bull I have ever seen. He was a beautiful, blonde colour and swaggered stiffly as though he had fathered too many calves.

"Mummy, why hasn't that cow got udders?" the girls asked.

"That's because it isn't a cow," I hesitated. "It's a bull .......stand very still so that he doesn't see us."

"But Mummy, you're wearing a red top!" My 9 year old clearly pointed out to me.

As I looked down at my top, not only was it bright red, it had thick red and white horizontal stripes that were enough to give a bull migraine. I was the proverbial red rag to a bull and didn't feel in the mood to play matador. I froze to the spot hoping he wouldn't notice us, inspite of holding a fidgeting dog who happened to be blissfully sniffing the bushes on her extended, long lead. Luckily for us he was more interested in the females ahead of him and he stiffly followed them up the steep field like a bull's version of John Wayne.

The girls and I gingerly walked along the edge of the field. The girls, who were wearing three quarter length trousers, complained bitterly about the stinging nettles and I was quick to inform them that a nettle rash was far less painful than mosquito bites that itch and blister for days afterwards.  At last, we climbed the gate to the field and made it to safety along a country lane.

"Can we go to a bar now," my 9 year old piped up, as if there would miraculously be a bar in the middle of the Welsh countryside!

"We're in Wales now, not Bali," I exclaimed. "You don't get bars in the middle of the fields!"

For my daughters, the perils of the Welsh countryside seem to exceed the perils of the poisonous snakes and pesky mosquitoes in the tropics! I'm glad we went on our Monkey Bridge walk, even though it unexpectedly required some bullish behaviour. As Michael Caine says:-

"I started with the firm conviction that when I came to the end, I wanted to be regretting the things that I had done, not the things I hadn't."

What are you glad you have done, even though it may have required some bullish behaviour or what can you do more of so there are no regrets?

For more information about our one to one coaching or team training contact NoLimits by clicking on the link on this blog page.

Janet

Taking Risks

Taking Risks


What risks have you taken in your life? Do you like to take risks or do you prefer stay in your comfort zone? How much adventure do you have in your life? Do you have enough adventure or would you like to have more?

Last week, I met up with two ex-work colleagues / good friends in London. We used to work for the same company in Central London, Diageo Plc, the world's leading premium drinks company. Eleven years on, my one friend still works for Diageo, she has excelled in her career and now heads a global function. My other friend used to be my boss and left Diageo about the same time as me. She has written and authored a book, is in the process of publishing her second book and works as a Director for a Human Resources Consulting Company. My friends have done well for themselves and yet they look at me as the daring one and wish they could take risks like me!

"You have taken such a risk, we could have never done that. You are so brave," my friends both agreed.

I presumed they meant I was brave because of moving my family to one country and running our talent search and development company, NoLimits, in another country.

"Either brave or completely crazy." I sighed thinking of the challenges I had encountered by moving to Bali.

After meeting up with my friends, I couldn't help but wonder where I would be now if I would have carried on working and living in London. I would have been very comfortable no doubt, but I know I would be wondering what else was out there and craving for some adventure as this is something that I personally value. As I pondered to myself, I decided to pop into Hatchard's, along Piccadilly, the oldest surviving bookshop in London that dates back to 1797. A quote which was typed in bold, on a laminated sheet of A4 paper and perched on top of a number of books, quickly re-affirmed how I like to live life and why I have taken a risk:-

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." Helen Keller (1880-1968)

Helen Keller was the first deaf and blind person to gain a Bachelor of Arts degree. She was an American author, political activist, speaker and lecturer. Her triumphs over adversity led her to become a role model to millions of people..

The risks we take don't have to involve doing something drastic. They can involve doing something different, especially if we feel we want to do something but don't have the courage.

"Man cannot discover new oceans, unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore." Andre Gide (1869-1951) 

It's never too late to take risks, no matter how large or small and live life as a daring adventure. It's never too late to discover new oceans.



Find out more how NoLimits helps individuals and companies overcome limits and take risks that are in line with personal and organisational values.

Janet